The Art of Bollocks

The Unmade Desktop. Tracy Vermin, eat your talentless heart out!

31-08-2011

It’s long been a bone of contention of mine that art is a load of bollocks, around which so called educated people talk wank in their mission to make it sound important. If I see a picture I like, I see no good reason to write paragraphs, adopting some superior sounding bullshit language, describing why, I either like something, or I don’t. A great deal of the time you hear these ‘experts’ pontificating about the meaning of the picture, as if they know what’s in the head of the artist, a belief built no doubt on the back of an art history course, where they’ve been taught just how they ought to think about it. Some art I see, especially abstract art, looks like a blindfold child painted it, it reminds me of a wall covered in bad graffiti, and engenders the same response, making me want to move on and try to forget I ever saw it, or just wipe it away, like a hungover mind the day after a big session.

The real venom within me though, is saved for the likes of Damien Hirst, and Tracy Emin, who took things to another level with their talent free art, having basically sussed, god knows how many years after Marcel Duschamps first confused the shit out of the art world with that toilet, that you could put whatever irrelevant shite you wanted up there, then all you then had to do was give it a, ‘conceptualised’ idea, call it art, (or ‘Brit art’, as our little ‘Brit pack’ soon became known for), and charge a fucking fortune for it. Sharks, cows, unmade bed, list of lovers, please!!, what a load of BOLLOCKS, but when you’ve got Saatchi and Saatchi on board, mega expensive bollocks.

To the average person in the street, the art world is simply a place we have no need of, not necessarily that it’s an unattainable place to reach, just that we have no interest in trying to be involved in it. That doesn’t mean I would never walk in to an art gallery or museum, just that I wouldn’t want some puffed up expert attempting to explain to me what it is I’m looking at, I have a pair of eyes with which to see, and I don’t need to hear the opinions that they learnt to have from an art course education. Nor do I believe that art can be used to explain era’s through history, or at least not from the majority viewpoint, it most often represents an elite, because they’re the only ones that could afford it, either to own, or to have commissioned, so once again, in terms of giving a picture of humanity, it is for the most part, yes, you’ve guessed it, BOLLOCKS.

This is not intended to be an affront to all things art, just the con artists, or should I say, ‘non artists’, who seek to hypnotise you into the idea that their concept is worth buying into, and the world of ‘artwank’ speak, where some educated voice yammers on in the unintelligible language of academia

Tags: 2011, art, art of bollocks, artwank speak, August, Brit art, Damien Hirst, Tracy Emin